damnation.notwithstanding

so tired.

so very tired.



very tired of giving my all. for nothing. the scars run into the veins...they cause shortness of breath...thoughts of insanity.

when a leaf falls from a tree...i wonder if she's crying...or if it's a way to shed her past. picking up the leaf, examining it...doesn't give me the answer. to crush it up, causing it to crumble into smaller pieces, feels like i do the tree no justice.

the pain that's deep within...the wayward traveler that stood the test of time...his moral is shattered. his legacy seems tarnished. will he ever find the road that has the dead end? the house...with the fence...and a swing under a tree, waiting for him at the finish line? the perfect life, for the perfect path.

i cry every night when i go to bed. i can't help it...it just happens now. there's no thoughts, there's no feelings...tears stream without force. and that scares me beyond anything i've ever experienced.

i....